Languid

book lust...

plus cake love...

equals afternoon delight?

Friday Blog Roundup

Remember back a few weeks ago when I asked about Twilight? So we rented the movie because it felt like a low-stakes commitment to the franchise. I cleaned up the blogroll while we watched, glancing up at the screen from time to time, mostly to comment to Josh that even after nine years together, a marriage contract, a house, two children, and a shared love of the beach, I would divorce him in a heartbeat if he told me that he thought constantly about draining all of my blood. I just couldn't believe that Bella would stick around and start a relationship with someone who told her that while they didn't want to kill her, it was a very real possibility. You know...due to that whole "I'm a vampire" thing.

We turned it off, laughing at the movie. At least I didn't have to read the books.

I was so damn wrong.

Even though I didn't like the movie and had barely paid attention to it, I wanted to see it again. So we brought it with us for Vampire Beach Week (named mostly because we were dragging along Buffy episodes and it sounded good to have a theme to our week). And I was more serious about it than being alone in a clearing with a vampire. I watched it with the laptop closed.

So I started to read the first book. And it's awful--it is truly some of the worst writing I've ever read. There should be a drinking game invented (for those who enjoy books and alcohol together) where you have to do a shot every time she uses the word "glare." All they do is glare at each other. A few pages into the book and I started to scream, "does she not understand the concept of show don't tell?"

And yet, when the Wolvog announced during a car ride that he needed to pee and Josh pulled over to a Dunkin Donuts, I yanked out the book and crammed in three pages during the break. I cannot put it down and it's awful. I mean, it's not awful that I can't put it down. The book is awful. And I can't put it down.

I'm not sure if I really like the book or if I've been told to like the book so I like the book. I am fairly certain that I honestly like Harry Potter--not because I was told by society to like it, but because the series was actually good and I personally liked it--and I use my dislike of Titanic as a barometer. The rest of America loved it, but I didn't. So I am capable of disliking things that others like.

I feel that my obsession (and it really is an obsession when you yank out the book to read three pages during someone else's pee break) is a lot like Bella's relationship with Edward. It is quite clear that it's not a healthy relationship from the get-go, sort of akin to striking up a penpal exchange with a serial killer that has just been released from prison.

And it's quite clear that the writing and storyline in these books suck--Bella is unlikable (what the hell is up with all the falling? She doesn't sound clumsy--she sounds like she has a condition that requires treatment. Clumsy is mentioning once or twice that she trips. Condition is the page after page descriptions of how she seemingly can't walk across a room and remain upright). She doesn't know why Edward likes her and the reader doesn't know why Edward likes her. Because she certainly doesn't seem like something special.

And yet, just like Edward can't resist vanilla-pudding Bella, I cannot resist these terrible books.

It is an attraction that defies logic, defies explanation, defies good sense. They are so clearly bad, and yet, I cannot stop. In fact, I am using an old birthday gift certificate to buy my own copy today. What the fuck is wrong with me?

*******

The Weekly What If: If your partner told you tonight that he/she was a vampire (and proved to you that they clearly were and not just making shit up to scare you) but would never hurt you (even though they thought about it), would you remain with them? Living in the same house? Sleeping in the same bed?

*******

I like to call this era of my life "baby steps with vampires." I can see myself watching True Blood sometime after the series ends. I am generally a latecomer to all things pop culture. And one day I will even start checking out Anne Rice. That is, if Edward and Bella do not drain all my good will towards the "cold ones."

*******

In unrelated-to-vampire book news, I am giving a reading at Politics and Prose in Washington, D.C. on the 12th. I am twelve-kinds of emotional that the first reading for the book (and I will have other locations/dates nailed down soon) is at my favourite bookstore in America (Books for Cooks is a close second, but that's in the UK so...). A place where I have spent so much money and so much time that the old owners of the cafe named a drink after me that is now gone from the menu (sniff).

And I would love all of you to come even though I know a large portion of you are not in the DC Metro area. But if you are, the details are

Place: Politics and Prose
Date: July 12th
Time: 1 p.m.

The most enticing reason to come is that P&P told me that I'm allowed to bring cookies. I've never been to a book reading with cookies and I've always felt that cookies were the missing piece. So I am bringing my Tom Waits and my chocolate chip cookies and whatever else strikes my fancy right before the event. So come for the book reading, but stay for the cookies. Or come for the cookies, but have to endure an hour of hearing about my reproductive organs. Or come for the cookies only and hang out in the fiction section for the reading and pretend you loved my book. All possibilities work.

Please let me know if you are planning to be there. And if you can't be there because you don't live anywhere near DC but know people in the area, forward the information on to them. Pictures and possibly even video from the event coming soon.

*******

In other non-related-to-vampire book news, the latest pick of the Barren Bitches book club is up. Stephanie Klein was a keynote speaker at BlogHer last year and she is the writer of the blog, Greek Tragedy. Her book, Moose, has been described as Judy Blume's Blubber for adults. And it is. It is funny and true and sad and very well-written.

The only thing missing is the stamp collecting.

I am about 3/4th of the way though the book (sidetracked by that damned Twilight series!) and it is brilliant. It is such an interesting exploration for the ways we view our bodies and how it seeps into other areas of life. What motivates us and what can't. It is not about infertility--it is about weight loss--but as I read it, I couldn't help but rewrite some of the passages from the frame of infertility and how it makes me feel about my own body.

I think it will be a fantastic discussion and I encourage everyone to join along because there is a long reading period for the book (come on, you know you were looking for something to take to the beach) and Stephanie is joining along and is open to answering questions. Read the instructions in the post on how to sign up.

*******

And now, the blogs...

Bagmomma had a post this week called "The Monster in the Closet" about coming to the end of the line. It begins with a terrible dream she had that she recalls vividly (and she places you right there inside her head) and ends with this thought: "It's the monster in the closet, behind the door I don't dare open. What is to become of me when I have to turn that doorknob? It's almost like being told you are going to die, but instead of not knowing when.. you have a date. Because very soon ...I will know." It is an incredible post, full of emotion, and I cannot get her dream out of my head. And honestly, I feel like she needs to submit this somewhere--the BlogHer community keynote next year, a magazine...somewhere. Because it is an amazing piece of writing.

Our Journey to Parenthood (and Hopefully Beyond) had a post that also began with a dream. Except that this post was the exact opposite--not a manifestation of worry, but a manifestation of hope. Though she asks an excellent question: "Why do I, who wants children more than anything else in the world and thinks about it throughout the day, have to be haunted by it at night as well?" It continues into a question of the timing of life; why things happen. And it simply struck a chord with me.

The Great Big If had a post looking back on the same date a year earlier. It is not just the difference of loss vs. pregnancy, it is the difference between being alone vs. being part of a community. She tells the story of being uninvited to a party due to her loss and juxtaposes it with this upcoming Fourth of July: "At this time last year, I had never read an ALI blog. I had never met someone who had openly battled infertility or loss and I had never stepped foot into an infertility support group. I was alone, in every sense of the word. As I celebrate the 4th this year with two of my new IF friends, I feel anything but alone." It is a post that made me smile.

Lastly, Becoming Whole had a post on the additional meaning infused in relationships and objects. I couldn't help but think of my own location casualties as I read the post; places I never want to return to because they are so deeply seeped in infertility. She is writing about her marriage and explains: "When you’ve made another person’s needs and wants the center of your universe for so long, a lot of material things end up taking on additional significance, as they can seem like the key to domestic tranquility." It is about taking back something that reminds her of her ex, but also had the potential to bring about comfort (albeit painful comfort). A beautiful, empowering post.

The roundup to the Roundup: Twilight is awful, but I can't stop reading it and giving Stephenie Meyer all my money. Answer the Weekly What If. Come see me at Politics and Prose and spread word. Join along for the next book club selection. And, of course, many good blogs to read. Oh, and if you missed it because it was added late, Josh joined us for the Navigating the Land of If book tour.

Happy Fourth of July if you are living in the US (or are US-born). I will eat a popsicle for you. And I am almost finished uploading all of my photos and writing about last week--you know, Advocacy Day, meeting Cassandra, eating dinner with Julie, and stripping in rest rooms of kosher restaurants. You know, average week.

Marching with the Barren Bitches Book Brigade--Tour Twenty

Here is the master list for the twentieth tour of the Barren Bitches Book Brigade. What is the Barren Bitches Book Brigade? It's a book club from the comfort of your own living room. The book club is conducted entirely online and open to anyone (male or female) in the infertility/pregnancy loss/assisted conception/adoption/parenting-after-infertility world (as well as any other related category I inadvertently left off the list). It is called a book tour because everyone reads the same book and then poses a question to the group. Participants choose a few questions to answer and then post their response on their blog. Readers can jump from blog to blog, commenting along the way. We read both fiction and non-fiction.

Anyone can jump aboard--it's a book club where you can drop in and out as you wish and all in the community are welcome.

Book: Moose* (with author participation)
Author: Stephanie Klein
Start Date: June 30
Question Due: August 12
Question List Sent Out: August 14
Post Date: August 17

(need an explanation of how a book tour works? Click here to go to a list of posts on the past book tours as well as information about future tours.)
Something New: the participants on this tour will choose the next book.

About Moose: Described as a "grown up version of Judy Blume's Blubber, Moose is a memoir written by the ever-funny Stephanie Klein (of Greek Tragedy fame). It chronicles her stay at a fat camp, and while this book is not infertility-related, it is body-related and I think it will lend itself to a very interesting discussion on how we find the motivation for the next cycle as well as how we view our bodies. It is literally the perfect book for the beach--funny, sweet, sometimes sad, and very very readable.

Barren Bitches Book Brigade List (The blogs below are participating on this current book tour. On August 17, you'll be able to jump from post to post to read a plethora of opinions and thoughts on Moose. I will keep adding to this list until 11 p.m. on August 12th. The list is currently open)

Stirrup Queens and Sperm Palace Jesters
Weebles Wobblog
Baby Smiling in Back Seat
The Road Less Travelled
Hello, My Name is M...and I'm Infertile
The Dragondreamer's Lair
Baby Making Journey
All Things Deb

Not on the list and want to join? Drop me an email at thetowncriers@gmail.com. You can add yourself up until 11 p.m. on August 12th.

How the book tour works:

(1) leave a comment or send me an email (thetowncriers@gmail.com) saying that you're interested in participating. I need your blog name, blog url, and email address.

(2) read Moose by August 12 (or at least enough of it in order to ask a question to the group).

(3) create a single question that would kick off a discussion (in other words, any question that leads to more than a "yes" or "no" answer where someone can express their opinion) and mail it to me on August 12 (or any time beforehand). I will send you a reminder email close to the date. Click here to see sample questions from tour #4. This is also the time to send a question if you have one for Stephanie because she is participating and open to answering our questions. I will compile them and forward them to her on the 14th.

(4) on August 14, I will send you a list of possible questions. Everyone will choose 3 questions off the list and answer them in a blog entry.

(5) on August 17, people will begin to post their entry. I will post a linked list of all the people putting up their entry that day so people can go around and read the entries and comment (start a discussion back and forth in the comments section). Reading the entries and commenting on the posts is the best part of the tour--by the end of the week, you should have a comment from every participant (and maybe even a few new permanent blog readers).

The 59th Circle Time: The Show and Tell Weekly Thread

Show and Tell is wasted on elementary schoolers. Join several dozen bloggers weekly to show off an item, tell a story, and get the attention of the class. In other words, this is Show and Tell 2.0. Everyone is welcome to join, even if you have never posted before and just found out about Show and Tell for the first time today. So yank out a photo of the worst bridesmaid's dress you ever wore and tell us the story; show off the homemade soup you cooked last night; or tell us all about the scarf you made for your first knitting project. Details on how to participate are located at the bottom of this post.

Let's begin.

I was trying to make all of my pictures from the past week count as my Show and Tell, but since the post and stories were getting too damn long, I took them out to serve as their own post (don't you want to know how I came to strip down in a kosher restaurant?) and made this tiny vignette my item instead.

This week, we were at the beach when these boys came out of the water, a shovel held proudly in front of them as if they were coming back from battle with a head on a stick. They deposited their find on the sand and drew a circle around it. One jelly fish.

It oozed across the sand and made me incredibly sad. Not that I'm a fan of jellyfish nor would they extend much care to me if I were swimming by, but it seemed wrong to go into their home--the ocean--and remove them for the sole purpose of showing that you can do it.

I brought the twins over to see the jellyfish for two reasons. Being able to examine it up close seemed like the only silver lining in the event and I wanted to explain to them why we don't remove animals from their home. We talked about how we would feel if someone came into our house, removed us from our home, and did it just for their own amusement.

We all felt sad for the jellyfish.

The ChickieNob offered up this shell instead for Show and Tell.


What are you showing today?

Click here or scroll down to the bottom of this post if this is your first time joining along (Important: link to the permalink for the post, not the main url for your blog and use your blog's name, not your name. Links not going to a Show and Tell post will be deleted). The list is open from now until late Friday night and a new one is posted every week.

Other People Standing at the Head of the Class:

Want to bring something to Show and Tell?

• If you would like to join circle time and show something to the class, simply post each Saturday night (or earlier in the week or on Monday if you can't do the weekend), hopefully including a picture if possible, and telling us about your item. It can be anything--a photo from a trip, a picture of the dress you bought this week, a random image from an old yearbook showing a person you miss. It doesn't need to contain a picture if you can't get a picture--you can simply tell a story about a single item. The list opens every Saturday night and closes on Tuesday night.

• You must mention Show and Tell and include a link back to this post in your post so people can find the rest of the class. This spreads new readership around through the list. This is now required.
  

• Label your post "Show and Tell" each week and then come back here and add the permalink for the post via the Mr. Linky feature (not your blog's main url--use the permalink for your specific Show and Tell post).

• Oh, and then the point is that you click through all of your classmates and see what they are showing this week. And everyone loves a good "ooooh" and "aaaah" and to be queen (or king) of the playground for five minutes so leave them a comment if you can.

• Did you post a link and now it's missing?: I reserve the right to delete any links that are not leading to a Show and Tell post or are the blogging equivalent of a spitball.

• If you want it...
  I've now placed a Show and Tell archive on the sidebar that will be updated each week in case you miss it. And click here for the icon code if you wish to have it for your blog. It links to the archives.

IComLeavWe: July

There is a new way to sign up. Please read the directions below.

Welcome back to IComLeavWe. It stands for International Comment Leaving Week, but if you say it aloud, doesn't it sounds like "I come; [but] leave [as a] we"? And that's sort of the point. Blogging is a conversation and comments should be honoured and encouraged. I like to say that comments are the new hug--a way of saying hello, giving comfort, leaving congratulations.

Here is the vital information, pure and simple (a more detailed set of rules follows below the list):

• The list opens the 1st of every month. It remains open until the 21st. You can add yourself at any point. The list is open to everyone in the blogosphere--blog writers and/or blog readers.
  
• Add yourself to the list by filling out this form: July 2009. I will move the information from the form into the post (usually within 24 hours).
  
• Click here to cut-and-paste this bit of code to add to your sidebar (if you have the old code from another month, remove it and replace it with this one). You need to add the icon or a link to the current list on your blog (see below) and will not be added until it's up.
  
• Commenting kicks off every month on the 21st. Please mark it somewhere (calendar, post-it note taped to your computer...), though I will be sending out an email reminder on the 20th. Commenting week runs from the 21st to the 28th. Every day, leave 5 comments and return 1 comment for a total of 6 comments. You are highly encouraged to choose the blogs you comment on from the participants list below, but this is not required.
• I will send a second email on the 28th to remind you to remove the icon from your blog.
  
• Read below if you want to find out about Iron Commenters.
• The commenting ends on the 28th. We catch our breath and the whole thing starts again the next month on the 1st. Drop in and out according to what is happening in your life between the 21st and the 28th.

The July List

1. Stirrup Queens (infertility, twins, books)
2. Woman Anyone? (primary sub-fertility, unexplained infertility, IF limboland)
3. Twice the Fun (but Half the Sleep) (twins, premature, infertility)
4. Heeeeere Storkey, Storkey! (twins, ttc #3, life)
5. The Pitter-Patter (TTC, infertility, MFI)
6. Baby Making Journey (azoospermia, waiting, life)
7. My Pathway to Motherhood (SMC, IVF, life)
8. Conceive This! (MFI, IVF/ICSI, FET)
9. Wishing4One (ivf, ttc, egypt)
10. Sticky Feet (twins, parenting, moving)
11. Building Heavenly Bridges (stillbirth, grieving, writing)
12. The Bear and The Comedian (parenting after loss, sibling grief, sweet humor)
13. Tammy's Journey (christian, donor eggs/embryos, life)
14. BagMomma (secondary infertility, donor egg, parenting)
15. I'm a Smart One (surrogacy, infertility, parenting after infertility)
16. More Than One Dimension (work/life balance, family health, infertility)
17. Life and Times of Kimbosue (motherhood, baby, randomness)
18. The Yerkes Life ~ Learning to Embrace God's Plans (infertility, life, family)
19. Slice of Pie (IVF, second opinions, food and cooking)
20. Sell Crazy Someplace Else (marriage, dIUI, weight loss)
21. Dragondreamer's Lair (parenting, crafts, secondary infertility)
22. Hobbit-ish Thoughts & Ramblings (ttc break, books, life)
23. Weber's in Action (ivf, family, working out)
24. Invivo (infertility, life, GIFT)
25. Maybe It's Just Me... (first trimester, PCOS, random)
26. Waiting on Baby Paramore (infertility, PCOS, miscarriage/premature birth)
27. Not The Path I Chose (secondary IF, RPL, IVF)
28. Baby Smiling In Back Seat (infertility, twin pregnancy, pottery)
29. The Great Big If (infertility, loss, pregnancy after infertility)
30. Semi-fertile (miscarriage, grief, hubby)
31. Becoming Whole (emotional abuse recovery, uncertain family-building future, ponderings)
32. All Things Griffin (donor IUI, 2WW, infertility)
33. IF Optimist, then... (40+, humor, IVF/ICSI)
34. Misconceptions About Conception (unexplained infertility, emotions)
35. Ova-EZ (babies, love, life)
36. Creating a Family (adoptive parenting, infertility, adoption)
37. The Baby Makin Chronicles (pregnancy after miscarriage, life, random things)
38. Musings of a Fat Chick (SMC, IVF, life)
39. Hope Endures (infertility, acupuncture, faith)
40. Exploring Chaos (pregnancy, life, moving)
41. Long Distance Infertility (infertility, single parenting, travel)
42. Hope in Virginia (ivf)
43. Babymaking 101 (pregnancy loss, waiting to try again on dr's orders)
44. Faith, Hope & Poop? (parenting, adoption, books)
45. Making Me Mom (male factor, spotting, faith)
46. Our Jouney To Parenthood (And Hopefully Beyond) (ectopic, ttc, struggles)
47. Life Induces Thoughts, Mostly Random (grief, acceptance, family)
48. Non-elusive BFP (FET, loss, life)
49. Late for a Very Important Pregnancy (DHEA, IF, early menopause)
50. One Little Pink Line Short of Sheer Bliss (infertility, mfi, ttc)
51. My Little Drummer Boys (IVF twins, pregnancy loss, parenting)
52. The Conceivable Future (RPL, infertility, books)
53. Are We There Yet (IVF, acupuncture, travel)
54. Mindful Meandering (RPL, IVF, infertility)
55. Baby To Be (ivf, pcos, life)
56. Our Journey (pregnancy, infertility, IUI)
57. Gotchababy (adoption, parenting, random)
58. The Life of a Firefighter's Wife (firefighters, food, children)
59. Dreams of a Baby (infertility, honesty, life)
60. Xiolo's Place (life, expectant-dad, gardening)
61. Finding Her Way: The Story of a Princess (TTC, fundamentalist christanity, life)
62. Grown in My Heart (adoption, special needs, culture)
63. Everyone Else But Me (ICSI, 2ww, future)
64. No Oven For The Bun (gestational surrogacy, MRKH, infertility)
65. FET Accompli (surrogacy, twins, hope)
66. Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Pampers (infertility, loss, military)
67. Unproductively So (infertility, loss, hope)
68. Destined to be an Old Woman with No Regrets (pregnancy, pregnancy loss, life)
69. My World, My Ramblings (male factor, IUI, culture)
70. I never thought it made sense anyway (infertility, life, IVF)
71. Life with Endometriosis and PCOS (endo, pcos, life)
72. Thoughts from an Overwrought Mind (infertility, life, thoughts)
73. Oh Sanity, Wherefore Art Thou? (marriage, TTC, life)
74. Ninapintasantamaria's Blog (pregnancy, life, snark)
75. Without A Roadmap (donor egg, active military, older parent)
76. Trying for a Baby (TTC, endometriosis, ovary suppression)
77. Life & Adoption! (adoption, life, random)
78. Just Multiply by 2 (parenting, life, twins)
79. Unquestionable Love (pcos, low amylose diet, summertime fun)
80. Will Not Work for Baby (ivf, infertility, life)
81. Gracie in Brooklyn (ttc, brooklyn)
    
82. Add yourself by filling out the form...

You have questions...I have answers:

Q: What if I miss a day?
A: Catch up the next day by doubling your comments--12 comments instead of 6.

Q: What is an Iron Commenter?
A: Not for the faint-of-heart. People who wish to be an Iron Commenter and be entered on the Iron Commenter honour roll need to leave a comment on every blog on the participants list (exceptions are blogs that require you to have a special log-in, such as some LiveJournal accounts or other similar situations). You can spread out this commenting any way you wish over the whole week, but the final comment needs to be left by midnight on the 28th (EST). Reaching Iron Commenter status is done on an honour system. Please email me if you earn Iron Commenter status so I can add you to the wall of honour.

Q: Why do I have to add that bit of code to my sidebar?
A: The code is the latest icon (the icon changes colour every month so you know that you're on the right list). This month, the icon is cranberry, the next month it will be red, etc. The reason is two-fold: (1) it enables more people to find out about IComLeavWe and (2) it gives you easy access to the current list once the commenting week actually begins and better ensures that you'll use it. Too many times, people sign up and forget to actually do IComLeavWe and this icon gives you a daily reminder (with the dates on it) every time you open your own blog. The icon is linked back to the current list. On the 28th, remove the icon from your blog. A new one will be created for the next month.

Q: It's the 23rd and I just saw this for the first time on my friend's blog! I want to join the list--why can't I?
A: Because IComLeavWe happens every month, once the list is closed, it's closed. If you're finding out about this on the 23rd, you can't join the current month. But leave yourself a note to check back in a week on the 1st and you can sign up for the next month.

Q: You said the list closes on the 21st. Well, it's still the 21st where I am. Why aren't you moving my information onto the list?
A: All dates and times are U.S. Eastern Standard Time (UTC/GMT -5 hours).

Q: What if no one comments on my blog and I have no comments to return?
A: Well, that really doesn't happen for the most part, but in that case, simply choose another blog and add an additional comment. The goal is to hit 6 comments daily as a minimum. Going over that is fantastic and encouraged.

Q: Mel, my question wasn't covered at all. What do I do?
A: Email me; I'm quite friendly. It helps to place "IComLeavWe" in the subject line. You could also check this post which contains the history of IComLeavWe and see if you can glean anything there.

Looking for the comment section? It has been closed on this post. Use the form in the directions to add yourself to the list.